And here is the biggest realization of all in all this reflection: There was an energy I felt; there was an energy from which I attracted; and there was an energy I was in that relationship. The reason I loved him so much was because I also loved me so much:
- I loved the way I showed up.
- I loved wanting to be my best self every day.
- I loved being loving.
- I loved feeling playful.
- I loved feeling feminine, sensual, vulnerable, sexy, connected, and naughty.
- I loved the conversation and companionship.
- I loved the ease and harmony.
- I loved feeling warm, safe and expansive.
- I loved having my needs met.
- I loved feeling YES! in every cell of my body.
So I might never hear from him again. I may never experience a relationship like ours again. But I know I don’t have to create that again, because I can be all of those things. I can choose to live in that energetic place — and, for the first time in nearly six years, that feels accessible to me again. And, for the first time in my life, I have the knowledge, skills and energetic practice to sustain it.