I am a forty-something single parent, a longtime breadwinner in search of fulfillment, a homeowner and a woman in search of balance. When I started writing this blog, I was recently divorced and on the verge of leaving a stressful and family-unfriendly work environment.
The musings herein are parts blog, memoir, fact, fiction and, in all likelihood, flawed memories. Some entries are written in the present; others have been taken from journal entries over the past few years, when I first realized my relationship was well and truly doomed. I am likely to jump around a bit.
I hope to offer an unflinching look at my own experience, meanwhile examining some of the common topics that divorce and starting to date again inevitably bring up. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. And the guilty. If it seems I’m being coy, it’s because I have children of an impressionable age and with online access, as well as other loved ones, to consider.
I’m not here to offer legal or relationship advice. But I am hoping to connect and dialogue with others with whom my story resonates.
Like what you’ve read so far? You can subscribe or follow me on Twitter: @failedatforty
the life and loves of Alisa B 
Keep going. Life is a journey. Sometimes the paths we take lead to a dead end. It’s the backtracking that sucks! I always think of you as my strong, confident, tenacious friend. Love you.
I laughed when I read the title of your blog as I had considered ‘dumped at fifty’ for mine! I have been reading your posts and enjoying them very much. Wish I had had some of your wisdom 10 years ago 🙂
Thank you for the kind words — I’m so glad you’re enjoying my foibles.
wait..wait..I’m enjoying them too….
All’s fair in love and war.
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of about failedatforty . Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.
Hi girl! Love the title of your blog, haha it’s very eye catching.
You might want to check out Single Edition Media.com to join a single women’s blogging network, it’s great fun and another way to expand your community 🙂
I’m on twitter too, @EXGFprblms see you around!
Hiya, Lady,
I have nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blog Award because your blog inspires me!
If you choose to accept this award, the requirements look like this:
1. Display the award logo somewhere on the blog.
(image: http://smirkpretty.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/very-inspiring-blogger-award.jpg)
2. Link back to the blog of the person who nominated you.
3. State seven things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.
5. Notify those bloggers that they have been nominated and of the award’s requirements.
Your writing keeps me looking up. Thank you!
Shannon
OMG Shannon! I am so grateful and thankful that you find me and what I share here inspirational!
Started following your blog. I read your posts on honesty and chicks who cheat and decided I have to come back and read more of your other posts. Great blog you have.
Hope you could see mine. It’s not about traffic, blogging for me is about people who will understand and take lessons from others’ experiences.
For me, it’s been cathartic. I wanted to find my own voice and discover what I truly think. And I think I’ve done that while, hopefully, connecting with my followers.
Hi! I’ve nominated you for the Inspiring Blog Award! Take a peek here:
http://notsosexinthecity.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/the-inspiring-blogger-award/
I’d love it if you could play along 🙂
Hi there, please note that I have nominated you for an award, check it out at : http://crazybunny66.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/and-the-nominees-are/
Why “failed” – isn’t it more that you successfully identified a problem and got rid of it, set your life back in order, and are now going forward?
Yes, that is the idea… and I suppose somewhere along the line I meant to change my moniker to Fierceatfortyone or Fabulousatfortytwo, but simply haven’t managed to get to it. Thank you for your kind words.
Hey, you must be awesome because 40 is fabulous.
Thank you. I am! 😉
Hey, just to let you know I nominated you for the Liebster award…do with it what you like but make sure you take a bow in the process 🙂 http://savedindrafts.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/liebster-award/
So glad I found your blog… I’m there now too, post divorce, waking up with no partner, no job, kids, and no idea what to do next just at that point in life that society tells me my partner and I should be laughing and carefree with our financial adviser as we plan our retirement, and packing for a nice European cruise…
I’ve been tossed into this club and enjoyed reading about some of your experiences.
I just discovered your blog. Wish I’d thought of this for myself. Its interesting to read a female’s perspective on dating in your 40’s after divorce. I know as a man its been very difficult, but in different ways. While online dating theoretically is supposed to make it easier, I now find it 100 times harder since people are so fickle. I liked your list of what you were looking for (one of your early posts), maybe because I think I have those things and also made a similar list for what I’m looking for in a woman. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find it since my divorce. Anyway, I like the blog and plan to keep reading. Good luck to you. Sounds like you’ve met someone great for you!
Thanks, Jeff. Keep the faith…though, for me, it’s especially difficult to do just now.
I’m so sorry. Just read your latest post. Dating at this age is so difficult. You’re not alone.