ginger discrimination

The other day my chatty chiropractor told me he thought I’d be a great match for Prince Harry.

When I asked him why, he gave two reasons:  first, I’m worthy of being a princess and second, we’re both gingers. I can argue with neither point.

But I felt I must tell him I’ve never been particularly drawn to ginger men. (Nor am I drawn to ginger women, for that matter, aside from that pretty character in Pitch Perfect.) He agreed that red-haired (more accurately orange-haired) men are often not the most appealing, but then opined that Harry is an exception. I agree; never mind the blue blood or age difference…

This conversation sparked further discussion on a topic I’ve been thinking about lately. Why waste my time thinking about such superficial things like hair color or complexion? Well…it seems ginger men often find me attractive. And their feelings of attraction toward me are rarely reciprocated. When one recently found my online dating profile, he seemed ecstatic — and he seemed to think my response would be equally jubilant.

My first reaction? “Ew.”

People like to point out that my anti-ginger bias seems contradictory. After all, I am a redhead. And my own father is a ginger — with the pale skin, every inch of that which has been exposed to the sun covered in freckles…and I am fond of my father. As I age, I also find that my skin is more sensitive and likely to burn in the sun.

Still, I don’t identify as part of this particular group of people with certain hair and skin pigmentation in any way that endears them to me particularly, at least not any more than I suspect dishwater blondes feel camaraderie toward one another based on hair color. In fact (perhaps as a result of several years of childhood torment), I am quick to point out these distinctions:  my hair is auburn, my eyes are dark and my skin tans with exposure to sunlight. I am covered in “angel kisses,” not freckles (and, no, they are not the same thing). I can see no reason for joining in any sort of ginger convention — I tend to choose my tribe based on other like characteristics. The enormous crush I had on the son of my father’s best friend when I was 13 years old notwithstanding, I am simply not attracted to ginger men.

But I’ve often heard that I should keep an open mind and, further, I’ve learned first-hand that some people are just not as photogenic as others. So out with him I went, determined not to make lifetime happiness decisions based on such superficial criteria.

And here’s what I found:  despite his relative financial success, despite his spontaneity, despite his sense of humor, he proved overeager (edging toward stalkerish) and further creeped me out with intimations that I reminded him of female relatives. (After all, I’ve seen my father in his skivvies, and that makes it less — not more — appealing to think of seeing another ginger in the flesh.) In summary:  not attracted.

If all of this reveals me as a sort of superficial bigot, so be it. Perhaps I am.

Advertisements

About failedatforty


2 responses to “ginger discrimination

  • Melissa

    As a fellow ginger, I have to agree that often people assume I would automatically be attracted to another one. Not necessarily true. I actually never really have been…until now. I started a new job and an engineer that I now work closely with is down right adorable. And a ginger. I don’t care that he is a redhead – I just think he’s cute, nice, sweet, smart…and pretty sexy.

    However, one handicap I seem to have since my divorce is the inability to tell how old men are. I just can’t figure them out unless they have grey hair and crow’s feet. And so I am afraid of even approaching a guy if they appear anywhere between my son’s age (19) and my brother (42…I’m 44). Is this common?!

    I won’t do anything with this guy – not unless he makes a move, that is. I do admit that looks play a part to who I may be attracted to, but I never have concerned myself with hair color. My first husband was blonde, second was brown-haired, and my current, well, “friend with benefits” I guess, has dark hair mixed with grey.

    My hair is a darker auburn, I DO have freckles over most of my body, though I do tan pretty easily, and I have hazel eyes. This guy is truly a carrot-top with twice as many freckles but a voice that can melt butter and gorgeous blue eyes. Lord, I hope he’s at least over 30!

  • truth003

    No, I don’t think it is possible to control our feelings of attraction. It’s probably a mixture of past experience, memory, smell, chemistry, and magic. Either someone gets your motor running or they don’t.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: