The city in which I live is still very much a small town in some ways, and I’ve come to expect to run into many of the same folks over and over. So, when invited to a really fun work / social party thrown by a few awesome guys / companies in their funky, mod work space, I was already anticipating running into a ton of fun people I already know.
Aside from being welcomed at the door by a guy friend on whom I have and off-again / on-again crush, there were really two highlights of the evening for me:
First, as I told my guy friend, “I’m dying to meet your brother, because he is such an acerbic bastard on Facebook that I already know I’ll love him!” When we were introduced, I explained to this man why I’d been so eager to meet him and he laughed, “yeah, I get a lot of that.” But the genuine and surprising pleasantness was that this man, who appeared large, gruff and potentially intimidating, and who is always — as far as I can tell from the comments he posts on common friends’ status updates — a perfect sonofabitch, had the warmest, friendliest, most open energy imaginable. He was not at all the curmudgeon I had anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, I would have adored him as a curmudgeon, as well. Instead, he was as you might expect to find Jerry Garcia or the famous ice cream Ben and Jerry: fulfilled, successful, creative and positively oozing loving vibes…a sort of teddy bear, who you felt immediately drawn to hug. Without the tie-dye. Think Buddha with a 70s porn ‘stache.
There was something exciting about this encounter for me — that someone could be so acerbic and witty (occasionally coming off as condescending or sarcastic) while so clearly happy, content and loving. It was a big aha. After all, I’ve been working to balance my own energy for years — and I’d finally experienced that which I’ve been trying to achieve (in my own unique and feminine form, of course) — the perfect balance of loving-kindness and irreverence.
My second fabulous experience of the night was running into a long-ago colleague who is now part of an up-and-coming band. Let me set this up: He’s tall, good-looking and has the sort of smooth, sexy drawl with which he could easily and simply talk my clothes right off…if he weren’t married (and to a super sweet woman, to boot). I used to have a huge crush on him! So it was a wonderful surprise to learn that he’d had a crush on me, too, back in the day. (Even back then, when I was being the worst human I’ve ever been — too much alcohol, drugs and unhealthy relationships.) And dang! He’d have been ten times the husband mine was, though I probably couldn’t compare to his wife. He sweet-talked me for a good, long while, suggested I manage his band, promised to look for eligible men for me and gave me the best hug ever. His energy was so warm — I never wanted those moments to end!
It was a great party with a ton of awesome people, but those two special moments illuminated a critical realization: I’d choose a man with great energy over great looks any day of the week. And therein lies the bummer of online dating: had I seen a photo of my friend’s brother online, I would have been unlikely to want to meet him. In real life, I’d kill to meet a single, available man like him!
Now, if I can get my energy to match all that bliss, I’ll have no problem attracting it!