I kinda like to be sold, now and again. I want to be convinced why one car is better than another, or this vacuum works better than the other, or why a particular mobile plan should earn my business, etc.
Given the advice I received at happy hour the other day, it seems we should explore this from the dating perspective:
A co-worker suggested that I may want to see if I can target my dating strategy to go out with salesmen. Sales guys, he went on, tend to be motivated, earn well, know how to dress and entertain, must be able to carry on a conversation — and they generally like nice things. (You can begin to understand some of what motivates this particular co-worker if you read between the lines.)
“You might get played a time or two,” he cautioned, to which I replied, “Meh, it’s probably my turn anyway.” Not that I’m excited by the prospect of getting played, but I’m wiser than I once was, and I tend not to fall so hard so fast.
I think, in many ways, my co-worker is right. A sales guy could make a good match for me. After all, my last boyfriend was a sales guy. He sure sold me — and often it was more of a hard sell than necessary. “Don’t tell me the kind of man you are,” I would say to him, “show me.” But I loved that a certain amount of his energy was spent trying to impress me. And I loved that he enjoyed dressing well and going to nice restaurants, varied forms of arts and entertainment, and more.
Contrast such behavior with that of my wasband, who seemed to aim for something short of baseline for nearly any partnership, marriage or parenting-related hope or presumption:
- Once, while in couples counseling, I expressed that I thought honesty should be the standard for a committed couple. He looked at me with an expression that showed just how ridiculous a notion he thought that was. (I didn’t get much back-up from the counselor, either, by the way.) How asinine of me to think he should have been honest about his finances, schedule — or anything else, for that matter.
- When it came to providing for his children, I suggested to the courts that he could earn a moderate income (much lower than I believe he’s capable of earning) by continuing to do the work he’d done for most of his career. Sure enough, he promptly went out and got a job — not in his field — that paid less than half of what I projected he could earn.
Back to sales guys, though: I think — no, I know — I would like to be in a relationship with someone for whom motivation is not an issue.
Yet I suppose there are potential downsides to a more traditional sales mentality. For example, might he be tempted to say or do things for the sake of expediency, going for the easy payout, rather than do the right thing? I suppose this may be what my co-worker means about “getting played.” Even if I didn’t get played, but such a way of thinking had become part of his professional character, I’m not sure I could appreciate that. And I’ve met a few salespeople who are downright smarmy!
So, what do you think? There have got to be many good ones out there! Any experience dating a salesman? Married to one? Where would I find one? Or should I even look?
the life and loves of Alisa B 
I love this post!! Right up my alley.
My current boyfriend is a wonderful man and is honest to a tee. He is ambitious, dresses well and likes the finer things in life.
My three boyfriends before that were all salesmen as well. Things did not actually go great in one of them. The other two went fine, we just were not meant to be each other.
They are a great mate, and I’ve always been drawn to Salesmen’s Outgoing Personality.
So if you go that route, you are definitely in for some fun times!
Good luck my friend! 🙂
lol. this post made me laugh! i think salesmen know how to work it, they know how to play and usually most are players. salesmen lie or at least know how to tell a good lie. i dont think they make the best significant others. i think your friend is right. they dress well. they like nice things, they know how to entertain. however, i think a lot of them are interested in only one thing and if that is all you want out of it, then go for it. if you are looking for someone who will be around for a while, i say, start hanging out at coffee shops, the gym, places that interest you! you are more likely to be compatible with someone if you are frequenting places you like. most likely they are there because they have the same interest! make sense?
Darling, of course it makes sense! However, the only places I “hang out” are in my car during my commute, at work and at my children’s functions. There are gyms and coffee shops in my future…when the children are older or have gone off to college!
I think it’s difficult to judge what type of person a man will be, or how he’ll respond in a relationship based on his profession alone. Some men use certain personality traits on the job, but are a completely different story once they come home.
– K.
dear failed at forty! you do not have to wait until your children are off to college or older to enjoy the things you like to do. do not sit and watch your life go by. do they go with their dad for the weekends ever? do you have a babysitter you can utilize? you do not have to camp out at these places. so many women just sit and watch their lives go by. life is too short! good luck! also, i know a lot of my girlfriends have met their significant others at their children’s functions. divorce rate is high! there are a lot of single people out there!
Oh, I know. It is getting easier. There is another income stream coming in. The children are getting older. It’s definitely more manageable day by day.