all my best

Nearly a year ago I attempted to capture what I felt were my worst, most appallingly bad qualities as if to warn a potential partner of what he might be getting in to. I suspect, at the time, many of the things I wrote were still rather reactionary. For example, I wrote about needing a lot of attention…which I probably don’t compared to others, but which I definitely do compared to what I received in my last relationship. You see what I’m getting at…

Here, if for no other reason than to illustrate that I have a few good characteristics, too, I’ll explore the finer things about yours truly. This should not be so difficult in theory…yet it’s taken me months…

  • I have the kind of smile that can light up the room. This is not to say that I am preternaturally bright, but that when I’m “on,” I can make anyone in the room feel good. Just because. I don’t need a motivation other than to make someone else’s day. In any given moment, I’m more likely to be smiling (even if only on the inside) than not, and my eyes sparkle.
  • I am playful and insist on laughing a lot. Life is funny. Or tragic. Either way, you’ve got to have a sense of humor to get through it!
  • I am content and happy, yet I see and find ways to grow and build on what is already a full and wonderful life.
  • I am an eternal (and usually pragmatic) optimist. I am, in fact, such an optimist that I constantly overestimate all the fun that can be packed in to a day. (Which unfortunately means that some around me occasionally feel let down. Sorry.)
  • I am conscious and willing. Why would this be a benefit to a man? Because if, like my last boyfriend, you call me out on a bad behavior, I’m likely to examine deeply what it’s about and consider making changes as appropriate.
  • I have the courage to admit when I make a mistake. And the decency to apologize.
  • I have some mechanical abilities, which is to say that I can generally understand how things fit together or work (and am able assemble furniture from IKEA, for example).
  • I prefer to be loving, to say “yes” more often than “no,” to do what’s right, to be generous, to give and to live passionately. I genuinely care, my experiences to date have earned me a fair amount of resilience and wisdom and, when I hear of couples who have spent literally decades of their lives together, I believe the willingness and ability to enjoy that kind of commitment and intimacy is in me.
  • Many of my friends have remarked on my ability for absolute acceptance. I can discern what is or is not right for myself while mostly leaving judgment to whatever our higher powers or karma may have in store for our immortal souls.
  • I enjoy reading and talking about what I read, which I suppose can be described as an intellectual curiosity and willingness to continue to grow and educate myself.
  • Add to these that I’m not a bad cook, I’m pretty and have a lovely curvy figure, can create a warm and loving home environment, teach my children proper manners and have a fairly decent sense of style.

About failedatforty

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