I have a horoscope app on my mobile device. I don’t take it too seriously, of course, but am open to an awareness of the energy potentials or influences of the moment.
Lately, however, my app seems to be mocking me. On a nearly daily basis since around the first of this year, it assures me that I am on-fire attractive, either enjoying better-than-ever chemistry with my mate or that I’m bound to meet the love of my life in the produce aisle or on other errands. There we’ll be, examining the avocados, when we each happen to reach for the same specimen, our hands touch, our eyes lock, and we recognize instantly, in that moment, that we are destined to be together.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t say it’s ever happened to me quite that way…
You’ll recall that my love life these past couple of weeks has not been rosy. And, while I was hurt, angry, then glum for a streak of days, I am once again hopeful and open to whatever romantic possibilities might enter stage left (or right, for that matter).
Oh, that my chart and my reality would align. Meanwhile, my best course of action is to delete this sneering app!
I recently dug up an old astrological profile that I’d received as a gift. It had my complete natal chart and a comprehensive reading to interpret it all. I was reminded of several things that I had forgotten but which, when viewed in light of my current perspective, would appear to suggest that my love life is doomed.
I’ve written before that I’m a Libra. One of my primary drives in life is to be partnered. My sign rules marriage / union and is the point of evolution from “me” to “we” consciousness. I feel most fulfilled in life when part of a “we,” and especially when that “we” is me with a romantic partner or mate. Consider, then, the challenges my other planets throw in the path of this inherent drive toward fulfillment:
- My ascendant or rising sign is Scorpio, is often referred to as the most difficult to manage, requiring a battle between the personality and the soul. (The positive aspect of this is that it means I’m an old, evolved soul.)
- Meanwhile, with my moon in Leo, I can be proud and often want to be the center of attention. (And I’m also a good leader.)
- Finally, my Venus is in Scorpio, it’s detriment (as Scorpio is ruled by Mars). Mars is outgoing and forceful, while Venus magnetically draws love to her. These forces don’t play well together…but they do make for some serious passion in the boudoir!
In other words, the stars suggest a certain amount of challenge as it relates to relationships; indeed, to fulfilling this primal desire for partnership.
And if that weren’t enough, I am the product of divorced parents. After their split, I lived with my father. I hear tell that those of us supposedly abandoned by our mothers are worse off than those left by their fathers. Not that I necessarily agree with this notion of abandonment; after all, I couldn’t possibly imagine living (as an adult woman) with my father, either, loving though he is.
Finally, in case we haven’t hammered enough nails into this coffin, I have a few skeletons in my closet that…well — in order for me to share genuine intimacy — are going to have to come out. And it’s not an absolute given that my past will be universally accepted and / or forgiven by the sort of morally upright dude I wish to attract.
I try not to put too much stock in these “barriers,” but there are times when they seem to rule the day. Still — and perhaps it’s that optimistic Libran nature of mine or some other planetary aspect — I have faith that my ideal mate is out there and, one day pretty soon, we’ll find each other.