sapiosexual: it’s a thing

Apparently there is a name for people like me — people who are turned on more by intelligence than anything else, folks for whom intellectual discourse is a form of foreplay, folks who find intelligent discussion arousing:  sapiosexual.

At this point, the term is found in blog mentions and websites such as or, and is said to come from roots sapien, Latin for wise or intelligent and sexualis, which should require no further definition.

I’ve seen the term described as a both a behavior (of being attracted to intelligence) and an orientation.

But isn’t this complicating things just a bit? I mean, my girlfriends and I have been discussing for years what was once a nameless, yet obvious, phenomenon of being attracted to brainy dudes. We’ve long talked about plain ole good conversation as foreplay. In fact, just talking with my current interest has the effect of driving me wild with desire. Isn’t this just a natural, instinctual, evolutionary imperative to be drawn to those most likely to be able to provide? (Let’s table the discussion about whether a woman actually needs a provider or merely an equal for another time.)

Or is it something much greater? Perhaps my above argument captures the essence of a historical, evolutionary paradigm shift. What if the evolved woman is attracted to intelligent geeks for the same subconscious reasons that our ancestors were attracted to those strongest, most physically able to put food on the table?

Or, maybe we’re attracted to pale, skinny, bespectacled nerds for the same reason our more recent ancestors were attracted to dudes with overgrown facial hair, polyester shirts and tight corduroy bell bottoms in the 70s:  because it’s fashionable.

Trend, evolution or neither? What do you think?

4 thoughts on “sapiosexual: it’s a thing

  1. Interesting food for thought. I think it does go back to the “survival of the fittest” mentality and, in our culture, that has shifted from phyiscal abilities to mental strength.

    – K.

  2. There’s nothing sexier than a dirty, intelligent mind. I’ve turned down Channing Tatum lookalikes who were dumber than day old bread – and I LOVE CT. Who woulda thunk? Turns out I need a working mind as much as I do a working body.

  3. I one had a guy me calling each body part its formal name as he kissed his way down. That’s when I knew……

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