…until you try

I seem to be a bit of a hot item since going back online (don’t worry — I won’t let it go to my head), and this weekend I went on not one, but two, first dates. Here’s what I have to report:

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to either meeting; I was going out to get in the habit of going out, as I said yesterday. But I managed to have a lot of fun getting to know each of the guys, even if I don’t genuinely believe there’s any real relationship potential with either of them.

My first date, drinks on an outdoor patio, got off to a somewhat slow and awkward start and ended with an even more awkward kiss — the kind of exaggerated, dry pucker you might exchange with a distant grandparent. The intervening 90 minutes or so limped along all right, but I felt as though I were entertaining, rather than it being a mutual exchange. Luckily, I am entirely capable of amusing myself — and others, it would seem. Certainly, I was hoping for someone with a little stronger personality, a little more able to hold his own when seated across from a woman he clearly found attractive. But the true kiss of death was what seemed to be a lack of intellectual curiosity…and his feeble, “Let me know if you want to go out again.”

Probably he was relieved when I sent him a note several hours later letting him know what a pleasure it was to meet a genuine, kind gentleman, but that I just didn’t feel a spark.

For coffee this morning, I met someone who had the personality to stand up to some playful banter. He seemed to have some mature relationship experience, interests of his own and a deep caring for his family. He showed substance, sincerity and kindness. We share some interests in common…yet still lacked the kind of “brain sparks” that will keep me interested in the long run. We’ve agreed to keep in touch, and may go out again with the understanding that it’s not likely to come to anything more than friendship.

I suspected the results of these two dates might be as they turned out, but I went anyway…because you never know until you try.

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About failedatforty


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