to shave or not to shave?

I have a date this afternoon. I’m not at all looking forward to it. I am, in fact, stalling when I might be changing my clothes, putting on make-up and other such preparations.

So why am I going?

Because I feel it’s important to shift back in to a more open attitude about meeting new people, benefit in whatever way I can from each interaction with someone new (and by that, I don’t mean a free cocktail), learn about myself and get comfortable enjoying myself interacting with men.

Put another way:  I feel as though I am headed in to some sort of self-improvement exercise…and, today, for whatever reason, I am dreading it.

Perhaps it is because there is a question on the online dating site I’m currently using as my “matchmaker” that asks:  “Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?” and I have a differing view from the fellow I’m meeting today. I’m not sure why this particular issue has me tweaked today — surely issues of politics, religion and values are far more important — but it raises my feminist ire. How dare another say someone has an “obligation” to maintain such a thing. Fact:  hair grows. Fact:  most people I know describe their lives as “busy.” I simply think it’s fascist to proclaim that another human being should make this a higher priority than, say, …um, well, anything important.

Truth is, I tend to keep my legs shaved (about twice a week) during the summer. My hair is light and no one can tell if I haven’t shaved, unless they get close enough to feel the prickles of tiny hair sprouting. I shave regularly because it is my personal preference to do so, not because I feel “obligated.” In the winter, I sometimes let it go longer. I suspect that just about anyone who’s been married has enjoyed / endured physical closeness with a partner who may not be freshly shaven. That’s a part of what intimacy is about. And adjusting some grooming routines to meet a partner’s desires sometimes is also part of what intimacy is about. What’s more important is how such preferences, desires and behaviors are communicated and shared.

Don’t worry — I will shift my mindset in time to enjoy whatever today’s “date” brings. Curiosity alone is already putting a smile on my face…

But I won’t shave; I did that yesterday.

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About failedatforty


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