the aftermath

Perhaps it seems flippant to observe that breakups don’t seem so traumatic once one’s been through a divorce. After all, I’ve seen the worst that it’s possible for a relationship to get. And I’ve survived.

This time, I invested just six months (rather than more that a decade). No house, no children, no shared accounts. But that doesn’t mean the past week has been easy…

  • The loneliness that I’m sure I’ve felt over the past couple of years but had forgotten has come back, and I feel it acutely in walking by a romantic cafe or driving by the coffee shop where we first met.
  • I see an ad for a romantic getaway in a quaint destination and feel regret that we didn’t get to enjoy it together. There were so many things I’d been looking forward to sharing.
  • Finally, I have been surprisingly lax in the grooming of my bikini area. Yes, I know…TMI.

Somehow, today, amidst the chaos of children at home and relatives visiting, he dropped off some belongings that had been at his place and managed to go completely unseen. I found myself sad that I didn’t get at least a glimpse, a reassuring smile, a warm hug…

Still, I have no regrets. It’s been nice to miss someone, to remember our times together fondly…

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About failedatforty


4 responses to “the aftermath

  • Bassas Blog

    The last line of your post is very poignant but positive. Tall person says that fond memories fuel the soul.

    P.S. I am a Caucasian Shepherd Dog and know the importance of grooming – so get that sorted out.

  • hodgepodge4thesoul

    I admire your courage in sharing yourself with all of us. The comment before mine is so true, “memories”, do indeed, “fuel the soul.”

  • smirkpretty

    Take care of that heart, and the body too, during this change. Dance and rest and treat yourself with all the kindness you would show your dearest friend.

    It hurts in a different way after the divorce, doesn’t it? You were more tender this time around, and learning to trust again. You will get there again, and it will be even sweeter the next time around.

  • Suzi

    I admire your strength in sticking with your decision and not second guessing yourself. Stay strong, you are an inspiration!

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