I feel friggin’ awesome! I love life! Yet it would be a total crock if I were to try and convince anyone that I weren’t still healing from my failed relationship. For example, I occasionally catch myself behaving in ways that suggest I’m reacting — seeking qualities that are opposite those of my ex or placing inordinate emphasis on things that might otherwise not draw my focus.
By this age, I’d say the same about the men I’ve met. Most are in some stage of healing or another…which got me thinking: I’ve vowed that I won’t treat a man nor relationship as a project. I’ve vowed to be firm, direct and absolutely myself. I’ve vowed to be clear about my high expectations. And I’m not going to treat any man with kid gloves. So how do I maintain the balance between treating another with care vs. being careful?
And that’s when I realized that it’s all in the delivery. I can be conscious and kind, and still communicate what I want and need. Because there’s a difference between acknowledging that we may still be healing and treating each other as fragile, inferior beings.
the life and loves of Alisa B 
I love your attitude! Good luck to you. 🙂
You make a good point that, by a certain age, we are all healing. Is this because we don’t give ourselves time to heal before we delve into a new relationship? Are we pinning our ghosts unnecessarily onto the next person? Is this fair? Is this necessary? I think we don’t give ourselves enough time. It’s like that Seinfeld episode were the attractive couple announces their impending divorce and all the single people pounce. If someone takes a few months (or years) to just learn to be “separate, unique, and whole” wouldn’t they be so much healthier and happier?