I hear my guy throw “I’m a bachelor” often in response to the way he takes care of himself — e.g. lots of take-out food, cigars, etc. I wouldn’t say there’s any issue with these behaviors, but the “I’m a bachelor” default could become a worrisome habit if we were to enter a more serious stage of our relationship. I often find myself wanting to coach or prep him for what a wife wants, whether that woman is me or some another lucky lady. But it’s hard to balance my commitment to not making a project of him with keeping up habits of excellent communication. I’d rather see what he has to offer than try to train him to be something I want…a husband who…
Plans for an abundant future, both financially and physically:
- Takes care of home and property.
- Saves for retirement.
- Eats right, exercises, has healthy habits.
- Releases what is no longer needed.
Pitches in around the house:
- Can prepare a healthy meal for the family.
- Can make a bed, do laundry, fold clothes, etc.
- Can clean or, in lieu of cleaning, votes for hiring a housekeeper.
Keeps his own friends and interests:
- We all need time alone and other healthy relationships.
Has good habits / manners:
- Puts the toilet seat down.
- Picks up after himself.
- Keeps his stuff organized.
- Prioritizes to make time to stay connected.
- Plans the occasional surprise.
- Learns my love language(s).
- That where there are children involved, your time is not your own, and you must simply surrender to the present needs of the family.
- How to fix a thing or two around the house, and when to call in the experts, instead.