my mouth was a bad girl…

I used to be a bit of a bad girl…or at least my mouth was naughty.

I’ll give you an example from at least 15 years ago:  A girlfriend and I were out at a bar, enjoying the crowded patio and looking for a place to sit, preferably with a little shade. We found a couple of guys at a table and they invited us to sit down.

We chatted for a while, and the cuter of the two guys seemed to be more interested in my friend than me. That is, until he said something like this:

“All you girls want to do is go shopping.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I drawled, “I kind of enjoy cunnilingus, too.”

I suppose it goes without saying that jaws dropped. Shock was often my signature move in those days.

It probably also goes without saying that the better looking of these guys asked for my number. We went out once. He was an ass. He repeatedly told me to loosen up, though I felt perfectly at ease. He actually said to me at the restaurant, “Order anything you want.” As if I were planning to order anything less!

Why this story came to mind I don’t know. My head-to-mouth filter still performs less than optimally. But I think it’s nice to be older, because people seem less shocked, less judgmental and more accepting of frank conversation. There’s a more mature fluidity to serious discussions about values and flirtatious discussions about sexual preferences or proclivities. There’s more genuine laughter. In other words, I’m not so shocking anymore; I don’t feel like such an oddball. Either I’m just more comfortable letting my freak flag fly or I’m better at surrounding myself with people who adore me for who I am. And that’s good stuff!

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About failedatforty


2 responses to “my mouth was a bad girl…

  • Jordan

    The guys who always told me to “loosen up” or “relax” were typically the most uptight guys around. More often than not, they had a hang up about something.

  • Dawn

    Loosen up? That’s code for “When are we gonna get naked?” isn’t it?

    Poor dears don’t understand that just because you like something and can admit to it, doesn’t mean you particularly want to do anything with them.

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