I don’t know whether I know how to be truly vulnerable or how to be okay with being vulnerable.
There. I said it. The “v” word seems a little frightening to me.
I don’t know how to confess all my past sins and be completely open and be loved in spite of and for all the baggage and reality of me. What I know how to do is move on, power through, push forward, sometimes as though a bull in a China shop…a bull with a smile on my face.
But I’m learning: I’m learning how to be soft on the outside and strong on the inside. I’m learning to speak my truth and trust that I won’t be judged for the worst of it, but instead as a complete, whole and sometimes complicated woman. And I’m learning how to slowly step backward and allow a man to move toward me, and to let him think he’s leading this dance.