the things I didn’t know

I don’t know whether I know how to be truly vulnerable or how to be okay with being vulnerable.

There. I said it. The “v” word seems a little frightening to me.

I don’t know how to confess all my past sins and be completely open and be loved in spite of and for all the baggage and reality of me. What I know how to do is move on, power through, push forward, sometimes as though a bull in a China shop…a bull with a smile on my face.

But I’m learning:  I’m learning how to be soft on the outside and strong on the inside. I’m learning to speak my truth and trust that I won’t be judged for the worst of it, but instead as a complete, whole and sometimes complicated woman. And I’m learning how to slowly step backward and allow a man to move toward me, and to let him think he’s leading this dance.

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About failedatforty


3 responses to “the things I didn’t know

  • Diva

    Ahh I like that ..be soft on the outside and strong on the inside!!! Let him think he’s leading this dance… What a woman!!!! Love It!!!

  • Mediamichele

    Well I’m older than 40, and I’m still learning to be vulnerable. I find that some times we are vulnerable in different areas of our life too – with my kids, with friends, with boyfriends, with what I do. Just keep on getting back up and opening up. I think it is worth it – at least I hope so.

  • Lafemmeroar

    We are all beautiful works in progress … and like you I have a hard time with the “V” word as well. I’m trying to find that balance though.

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