the horrors of love

Did you read the recent news about the man who shot and then dismembered his wife after she told him she was going to leave him? As the gruesome details of the story continue to emerge, the thing that strikes me above all is this:

This woman had her master’s degree in psychology. Her husband was a felon, convicted of a violent rape. What on Earth possessed this woman to fall for this man?

I’ve both seen and experienced that love is blind, but Wow! I can’t imagine how she ended up with him. I can see forgiving some past flaws or youthful indiscretions, but a violent rape? Difficult for a woman to overlook…

In any case, it’s a tragedy for all who knew and loved her, all who supported the couple and especially the couple’s child.

And the horror of this sort of love makes the relative awfulness of being single seem somehow tolerable, preferable even.

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About failedatforty


2 responses to “the horrors of love

  • womencyclists

    oh that is so devastating! =( It’s devastating for a ton of reasons. First that it happened. Second, that this is not a rare event–separation is often the most dangerous time for women because that’s when their male partners often attempt to seriously injure or kill them.

    I think what the take away point SHOULD BE is … why is this happening in our society? Why is it that someone who raped someone was even released from prison early? Why did the authorities let that happen? If we focused on that (more than wondering what’s wrong with the women…) then maybe we could finally prevent this from happening so much (sigh).

    Besides, I doubt that he was all “Hey, honey. Just wanted to let you know that I violently raped someone. Hope you’re cool with that!” My guess is that he minimized it, called her a liar, said the system was unfair etc etc. I mean, sexual assault is one of the most underreported crimes for a reason (massive victim blaming by society, including people closest to the victim). So, people–men and women–are readily willing to blame women for crimes like sexual assault and domestic violence.

    • failedatforty

      I agree that this is the type of tragedy that can and should spark all kinds of relevant dialogue and conversations — about mental health, about gun violence (how did this convicted felon happen to have a gun?) and so much more. It’s positively horrifying that, as a society, we continue to allow violence against women with alarming regularity and — in many cases — hold these very women responsible for it because they mouthed off (i.e. stood up for themselves), dressed provocatively or some other equally illegitimate reason. My heart aches for Manya and her family.

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