to toy or not to toy?

Eighteen months ago, if a man had told me (and one did) that he was a big fan of toys, I would have found it (and did) a bit too forward for my taste. And I might have questioned his masculinity:  I mean, as a heterosexual woman, I think men already have the ultimate toy (toys, if you include hands and tongue along with the obvious). With my limited imagination and lack of experience in this regard, I wondered if a man saying he liked toys meant that he needed a little help to finish the job. At any rate, the suggestion planted just a hint of suspicion in my mind (i.e. I can safely say I was a bit of a prude).

Now? Well…

Naturally, most single women I know have a toy or two (or more) for pleasure or to satisfy certain needs. I might even have a friend named Bob (my Battery Operated Boyfriend) safely concealed in the back of a drawer. Along with a growing collection of other goodies…grin.

Most women I know have also been to one or more of those house parties with the overwhelmingly-scented lotions and lubes, canned jokes and bawdiness. In fact, I attended one several months ago at which the women knew each other well enough to tolerate an uncomfortable and forced camaraderie. Awkward.

Over the weekend, I was at another of these parties:  This one, however, was filled with like-minded women of a certain age / experience that created an atmosphere charged with open energy and wit. Oh, and plenty of alcohol. Further, our demonstrator was a bona fide sex educator, whose delivery combined facts and straight-shooting advice with her opinions and experience, as well as a healthy interjection of foul language. She came to us from a shop that is open and welcoming to all, where the products are made from the best manufacturers worldwide and adhere to high standards of safety, such as medical-grade silicone. (In the U.S., sex toys are considered novelties and are, therefore, not subject to protective regulations…who knew?! And which may explain why so many novelty shops feel so skeevy).

The party was an enormous success, at least by my standards — I got to take home some new toys. It was fun to contemplate which of so many interesting items to choose, particularly as I thought of complements to the collection of my lover (who, by the way, is the same fellow that told me all those months ago that he was a big fan of toys!).

As my openness to enhancements or accoutrements in the bedroom has grown in recent months, so has the size of my collection. Why not explore, come into my own, see what I like? Ultimately, I say, definitely toy.

And if you want to toy safely, shopping here would be an excellent place to start.

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About failedatforty


3 responses to “to toy or not to toy?

  • truth003

    The first time I suggested a toy to a woman she was amazed. Wouldn’t that make you worried I would like the toy better than you, she asked. I thought, if that was true, then I’m certainly woukd not be doing my job correctly. We both found the toy a great addition to our fun.

  • living a double life « failedatforty

    […] I wrote previously, I was at a sex toy party not long ago, contemplating the kinds of gadgets that would not only enhance sessions with my lover […]

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