end game

I know I’ve touched on this theme before:  How does a woman know that the guy who’s doing it for her now is the guy who’s going to do it for her in forty years?

There’s a part of me that goes:  Duh. She can’t. She can’t possibly know. None of us know. We can’t know the future!

And then there’s another part of me that goes:  This whole expectation that one person is going to meet our needs now and also forty years from now is ridiculous and arcane.

Finally, there’s the part of me who wants that…to love a man now and love him forty years hence, and for him to do the same.

If it sounds like there are a lot of voices in my head…well, so be it.

But like most stubborn broads, I want what I want what I want. And I’ve seen guys who are attractive and good fathers and good providers and are smart and healthy and good conversationalists. (Of course they are not perfect. No one is.) And I’ve seen elderly couples holding hands while walking on the beach. Maybe I’ve only seen that in television commercials, but so what? It’s okay if some marketing is effective — that gives me hope on both a personal and professional level.

As I’ve also mentioned before, I’m totally digging my man. I’m enjoying every minute.

I can’t see the future. I don’t have a crystal ball. I don’t know whether he will be a good husband or co-homeowner or parent, much less whether he’d be a good husband at eighty. I know he’s a good and loving man. And, for now, that’s enough.

 

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About failedatforty


3 responses to “end game

  • tat2dmomma

    Ah the old wait and see…but what is nice about the seeing is that we might begin to realize that the person we are relating to is someone who could be around for some time. And also, that they may not be. All we can do is be accountable for right here and now. That’s a good place to be 🙂

  • hodgepodge4thesoul

    Well said! Your posts are so honest and I appreciate that. And I can relate so well them. We don’t know what the future holds in our relationships, for the most part, but we need to learn to be content and take it a step-at-a-time. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  • btc

    I think he sounds lovely. Personally, I think the main thing you need to know is whether he (or any potential mate) is selfish. Bottom line: is this person a giver or a taker? because you are looking for a giver. And if you are committed to being a giver as well, then voila! A match that can withstand the perfunctory couplings and the boring spots. In my (admittedly antiquated) opinion, marriage is designed to make both parties as unselfish as they can possibly be. If he is unselfish by nature, then that is a very promising start.

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