close to the vest

Apparently I’m a difficult read. This according to a woman who knows me well; perhaps wishes to know me better, if you catch my meaning.

I think what she actually said was that I hold my cards close to my vest. And, therefore, she thinks the man I’m digging probably doesn’t really know I feel.

Which maybe is fair. But, again, this was meant to be a hook-up thing…you know, friends with benefits. So…it’s not really about that, right?

Still, shouldn’t it be obvious?

  • Exhibit A:  The last time we were together, I was so nervous that I told a bunch of dumb, pointless stories — that usually featured mention of other men — all in the way of letting him know how attractive I found him, or that I’d had a crush on him for a while. Nothing says “I like you” like making a complete ass of one’s self. Right? (At least if you’re in high school.)
  • Exhibit B:  I couldn’t stop touching him…lingering near him in the kitchen, touching his back; sitting across the table from him, touching his feet with mine; kissing and caressing his lips, jaw, chest with pure, raw desire.
  • Exhibit C:  It was I who asked him to get naked and rub up against each other.

So clearly, if nothing else, I’ve demonstrated that I’m all too willing to make an ass of myself when I’m excited about the prospect of getting to know someone I like a bit better.

My girlfriend also said I’m intimidating. So what do I do about that?