chicks who cheat

People tend to react strongly to infidelity. Perhaps that’s because we’ve all had some experience — whether we’ve been betrayed or betrayed another, or know a close friend who’s been jilted. Sit around in a group of women and, eventually, a story of someone’s wayward boyfriend or husband is bound to come up.

So why is that, lately, it seems every guy I meet has been the one who’s been cheated on? Even the best looking, most intriguing of them! And what gives with chicks who cheat?

It’s so easy to imagine men as over sexed and unable to be monogamous — the media and a bit of personal experience suggest it’s rampant. However, my more recent experience suggests that women are as capable of infidelity. And probably as over sexed.

So what brings a woman to cheat? Is it the same reasons men that bring men to? Or are women’s reasons different? Sure, sexual dissatisfaction could be a reason. Sure, there are players. But I tend to believe that most people don’t set out to be unfaithful. In fact, I think many who find themselves in the midst of an affair are baffled at how they got there and completely unaware of how to get out alive. I tend to think they get there because of some vulnerability; perhaps their emotional needs were not being met. Perhaps they or their partners neglected to nurture the one relationship that should be most central.

I’d like to think that I would never cheat on a partner. I can’t imagine it. Once in an exclusive, committed relationship, it’s simply not something I’ve ever done. Even against my therapist’s advice, I remained faithful until after my ex finally moved out. But I can remember those lonely, needy, unloved feelings during the worst times in my marriage. And who can say what might have happened if someone tender, loving and caring had come along when I was at my most vulnerable? I’d like to think I’m stronger than that. I’m pretty sure I am now.

Still, as easy as it would be to judge, I can’t help but feel a certain amount of compassion (and a little pity) for those who stray, even as I empathize with their victims.

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7 responses to “chicks who cheat

  • Suzi Shumaker

    I don’t believe people just accidentally fall into an affair.

    But, I do agree that it’s the cheater who is hurt the most in this scenario – if they are found out or confess they reap many reminders, lack of trust, etc.; trust and believe, they will pay for their deeds far beyond the enjoyment they felt during the tryst. If they are never found out, the guilt will eat them from the inside.

    Cheating is bad for everyone.

  • Matt79

    Hi, I’ve only just started reading your blog – interesting posts! I’ve only read the most recent few but as I’m writing this comment I’ve noticed that your top post is about toe cleavage? That’s gotta be worth a read too! As for this post, I’m a guy who has never cheated but has been cheated on once, but she was young (we both were) and I think her cheating was motivated by fear of commitment. She broke up with me and then told me she’d cheated on me, so I think the idea was to make sure that I stayed away and stopped tempting her to be in a relationship where she might risk being hurt herself. I’m not sure how common a factor this is in any possible new social trends out there.

  • ROBERT LEE

    Sigh. I know the feeling…

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